Ted's Bulletin: you serve pop tarts?

Ted's Bulletin near Eastern Market metro station.

Since I knew there was a high probability that I would leave DC if I did not have a stable job by July 4th, I made an effort to visit some friends in the area and say goodbye before leaving. One friend suggested we go to Eastern Market on a Saturday morning. After meeting her by the metro station, I suggested we walk down Barracks Row because I knew there were a bunch of cool-looking restaurants on this road. In early May I had dinner with a friend at one of these restaurants, the Banana Cafe, which has a piano bar inside, and I could probably spend a lot of money eating at all the other joints on this street while gaining weight. One of the places I wanted to try was Ted's Bulletin because my cousin's boyfriend said that this place has a great breakfast menu. The sign on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant said they were serving pop tarts. "Really?" I thought, "That sounds pretty lame. I could just get pop tarts for a lot cheaper at a grocery store. Why, oh why, would I spend DC restaurant prices for something as simple as Kellogg's brand pop tarts?" After a brief wait, which would normally have been much longer except that it was a slow Saturday, the two of us sat down at an enormous table large enough for six to eight people. There weren't enough small tables, and they weren't expecting any large groups for a while. From our seats we could see the chefs and servers preparing the food because there was only a counter separating the kitchen from the seating area. On the counter were several plates full of hand-made pop tarts they had just baked; the sugar glaze was still melted from oven heat. I was baffled and giddy that they made their own pop tarts. Considering they made them in-house, the pop tarts weren't very expensive, either. I ordered the bacon and brown sugar pop tart along with a bottomless cup of coffee, a stack of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and hash browns. On the wall opposite the kitchen, a huge screen played a Western movie from the 1970s. Don Knotts, who played Barney Fife in The Andy Griffith Show, was in this movie. He was dressed up as a woman with a shotgun most of the time. There weren't any subtitles or sound, but Don Knott's character made it obvious that it was a comedy. I wonder if they play the same movie over and over all day or if they have a bunch of old movies. It might actually be fun to watch the movie with someone while waiting for the food and make up the lines and story. It'd be like a game from Who's Line Is It Anyway. Anyhow, the food was delicious once it finally came out. I actually ordered so much that I couldn't finish my pancakes. I'm usually the type of guy who can push through the pain and eat everything I ordered so that I get my money's worth. Considering how much food I got, it was very reasonably priced. I think next time I'll just order pop tarts, coffee, and maybe hash browns.

My bacon and brown sugar pop tart is on the left.

My friend's blueberry pop tart is on the right.

It's not a diet-friendly kind of joint.